Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a recipe for the perfect parent. If there was, no one would be called terrible for the way they’re raising their child. But since such a recipe has not been introduced yet, some people might be shamed for their parenting practices.
A curious redditor turned to the ‘Ask Reddit’ community members with a question of what screams “I’m a terrible parent” to them. People were honest about what they considered the biggest red flags in moms and dads out there. And even though they shared different opinions, they all had one thing in common—none of them were likely to be deemed commendable examples of parenting.
#1Not saying sorry to your kid when you are in the wrong or made a mistake.
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#2Talking s**t about your ex infront of your kid
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#3Youtube Family channel parents
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#4Getting your kid's school principal fired for showing Michelangelo's David to the class.
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#5If their kids are older, and want nothing to do with them.
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#6If your little kids smell like cigarette smoke, you're a bad parent.
(I'm talking about now. There was a time people didn't know about the dangers of secondhand smoke, but they sure as hell know about it now.)
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#7Filming your child trying to mock them only because "it's funny" when it's clearly uncomfortable for them, and then post the video on the internet
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#8Defending every action/behaviour of your kid without hearing the other party's side. It's obviously natural and important to listen to your child, but you should not be disregarding the fact that your kid can make mistakes and is not perfect.
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#9People might hate me for this but obese kids
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#10Trying to gossip with one of your children about the other one
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#11Refusal to deal with your own trauma, and continuing the cycle of abuse.
I ended our family's. Unfortunately it took almost my whole life.
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#12Parents not punishing their kids. All kids are different and some things might not work but if your child is actively disrespecting a teacher or physically hurting another person and your first thing is to make an excuse....
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Those mums that get online and post about how they “need” wine to deal with their kids.
It’s not funny, it’s not cute, it’s s****y parenting.
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#14Blaming a child for something they can’t help.
When I was 10 I had trichotillomania, (a disorder which caused me to rip out my hair due to stress.)
My mother, (who was having chemo therapy at the time for cancer.) was in hospital, leaving me and my dad alone, when I got home he acted normal until he took me to my bedroom and started shouting and hissing in my face, spitting on me. Screaming, “You’re doing this for attention!” And “your mother doesn’t even have any hair and you’re doing this by choice!” I was shaking and crying as he mocked me for doing so, he then stomped downstairs on his laptop, and said, “You’re not normal, you’re getting therapy.” As a form of punishment. For the next few months, I’d go to weekly therapy with both my parents their in the room, and practically got shamed by all 3 of them, (I didn’t tell my mum what happened at the time) the therapist was a f*****g jerk. I got told I was overreacting, I was wrong for how I felt, I just had “low mood” and “was anxious.” I couldn’t open up about how I felt because both my parents were there.
Please do not blame your child for things they seriously cannot help.
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#15Your kid is literally always grounded.
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#16“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about”
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#17An idiotic name (circa AITA Krxtxl) or anything similar.
Any parent I’ve ever seen who does this c**p treats their kid like an accessory.
iPad/phone parents. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against screen time but there has to be some boundary) I had a child in my last preschool class who literally ONLY spoke in YouTube quotes or video intro styles. I had to have him at age 4 permanently removed from my class for hockey fighting a kid and screaming “it’s a prank f***er” so yeah.. there’s been a lot of varying degree of screen obsession but that was one of the worst. That and the kid who hit my co teacher in the face with a poop filled hand for putting the iPads away for lunch time.
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#18"I took my kid's door away" Apparently this is confusing people so I'm going to add the part that was super heavily implied.
"I took my kid's door away because if they're going to slam the door they don't deserve privacy"
I hope that clears up any confusion. And if I post somewhere else it's bad to beat a kid. I don't mean at games so no need to point out that it's okay to kick a kid's a*s in chess.
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#19Forcing your older children to parent your younger children. This is called parentification. It’s a form of abuse/neglect, and it’s unfortunately quite common.
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#20Choosing romantic relationships over your child
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#21Telling your child you're proud of them for something (1) they can't control or (2) you can't prove.
Eg: when I was a child, a lot of my classmates had disorders like OCD, ADHD, anxiety, depression, and similar. My mother used to tell me all the time that she was so relieved I didn't have any of those, and that it was "a blessing from God." Well as it turns out, I have all of those, and she simply never bothered to have me tested. When the symptoms became impossible to ignore, I couldn't talk to her about it.
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#22Children that think they’re adults.
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#23Ridiculing your kids in public. Like, at least wait until you get in the car or at home.
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#24Not saying 'no' to your child.
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#25Parents who s**t-talk and criticize their kid in public just for behaving like a kid.
Especially when they're nowhere near out of control, and just asking for a candy bar or something.
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#26The desire to want to be friends with your kid instead of a parent. Children have plenty of friends, but they only have two parents.
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#27Parents whose first and only response to a child acting out (or even just being a little noisy) is to stick an iPad or mobile phone under their nose and then go back to ignoring them.
Equally...parents who do never do anything when a child is acting out and let them run wild - I get that sometimes you might need to let the kid exhaust themselves/burn off energy, but there has to be a middle ground somewhere between the two responses.
I was going to add parents who give their children stupid names/stupidly spelled names - but that's not necessarily bad parenting, just bad taste. Still...if it's going to get the kid bullied later in life, it's not great.
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#28Children with bad teeth
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#29Pushing their children to live out their own dream rather than just supporting them to be themselves
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#30Neglecting your child's needs and safety.
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#31When you use your kids as emotional support figures or use them to cover your own irresponsibility. You had a 20 year head-start on your kid, yet they're already more responsible and mature.
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